Community honors fallen angels

By Lindsey Vaculin

General Manager

Family members of those lost to violent crime and service members lost in action gathered to remember loved ones during the Tree of Angels ceremony on Dec. 6.

Guest speaker Sondra Andrews of Cameron, mother of fallen soldier Second Lt. Darryn Andrews, reminded everyone of the power of forgiveness during the event held at the Milam County Museum.

“For some folks this is a horrible time of the year missing loved ones who have been lost,” Judge John W. Youngblood said. “This goes a long way in showing our support for those folks. This is a wonderful thing.”

The names of lost service members were read and the Meadowbrook Baptist Church performed special music before Andrews spoke.

Darryn was killed Sept. 4, 2009, in Afghanistan. Andrews said he was with the 501st Airborne Battalion out of Fort Richardson, Alaska. Coincidentally Bowe Bergdahl was with the 501st in a different battalion. Bergdahl left the day before the 501st was being transferred to another area that would have been a much safer low-key area on July 1. Andrews said as a result of his leaving they were unable to depart as they don’t leave without all of their men.

“That put us losing another child,” she said. “One of Darryn’s friends came to our house a couple of days before the funeral and he asked me, ‘Mrs. Andrews have you forgiven the Taliban that shot Darryn?’ I said, ‘No, I haven’t and I’m not ready for forgiveness.’” 

“That started working on me,” she said. “I knew I had to get things together and do things. A few weeks later we were notified that the Taliban that had killed Darryn had been killed. I didn’t feel any remorse. I wasn’t sad. I didn’t think about their mom or dad. I was glad that it was done and there was revenge. And that’s not right.”

Andrews said she knew she had to get over it, but she was still very angry with God. 

“I was devastated and heartbroken,” she said. “I couldn’t understand why we had lost another child. But I also realized this time was different and I had to get my act together because there were other people depending on me.”

She said several things had to happen before she could do that.

“I had to get my heart straight and get a hold of it,” she said. “And as I began my journey God started teaching me how important it is that I try to respond to all of life with a thankful heart, even in situations that I find difficult and heartbreaking. In my journey I have seen how a lack of gratitude can manifest itself in fretting and resenting within the own confines of my heart and worse than that venting that to those I love.”

She said that in those moments when she found herself gasping for air and thinking she was going under she discovered that gratitude is her life preserver, because even in the most turbulent waters choosing gratitude rescues us from our runaway emotions and ourselves. 

“Over time choosing gratitude means choosing joy,” she said. “That choice does not come without effort. It is a choice that requires constantly renewing my mind with the truth of God’s word. I need to say thank you to God like I saw thank you to others.”

She said that before she could find gratitude she needed to find forgiveness for those who had hurt her and caused grief for her family. 

“It is our human instinct to hold on to anger and grow resentful and plot revenge when we have been wronged,” she said. “These feelings are normal. It is easy to forget or forgive when there is true recognition by the offender, a heartfelt apology or true retribution equal to the act. This doesn’t always happen. We can easily get entangled in a swamp of dark feelings which we escape only after time has elapsed. Holding on to anger keeps us locked in the past. Working on real forgiveness is long treacherous work. Especially when we feel the offender doesn’t deserve it.”

She said that when we hold on it binds us to that pain and that offender and it gives them continued power in our lives. Forgiveness offers a path to moving on. It is a decision of choice, not a feeling. Once you do this it is in the past. They type of grace and forgiveness that God gives us.

“We need to take ourselves back a little bit,” she said. “My prayer and hope is that you find peace with unfairness that has been rained down in your life. It is better to smile and do good works in honor of our loved ones. We are not making our families lives any better if we choose to be bitter.”

Following Andrews’ speech Milam County Assistant District Attorney John Redington dedicated the tree and asked everyone to place an angel in memory of loved ones.

The Tree of Angels is sponsored by the Milam County District Attorney’s Office. You can visit the Milam County Museum to see it on display.